The Journey and Rise from Adversity to Holistic Success Through Real Estate with Kristen Jacoby

Transcript

[Mattias]
Welcome to the REI Agent, a holistic approach to life through real estate. I’m Mattias, an agent and investor.

[Erica]
And I’m Erica, a licensed therapist.

[Mattias]
Join us as we interview guests that also strive to live bold and fulfilled lives through business and real estate investing.

[Erica]
Tune in every week for interviews with real estate agents and investors.

[Mattias]
Ready to level up?

[Erica]
Let’s do it. Welcome back to the REI Agent. This is Erica, your host.

And I have Mattias with me. Welcome, Mattias.

[Mattias]
It’s good to be here.

[Erica]
We decided to switch roles today. Oh yeah, it feels good to be here again. And man, I’m hoping that I can keep this up because this has been the first week where I’ve been back to my normal routine.

I had a full client caseload this week. I went to the gym. I hobbled around Costco.

And I made the two podcasts this week, right?

[Mattias]
You hit two. And those are the only ones.

[Erica]
So yeah, yeah.

[Mattias]
All of them.

[Erica]
Yeah.

[Mattias]
Adding a thousand. Yeah, I’ve definitely felt this week has been a bit more of getting in the routine. I think there’s a really good indicator for me if things are out of balance.

And that’s if I don’t go to the gym. And I got five days in a row. So that’s a really good streak for me.

That’s not normal either. I usually like maybe three or four. But if it’s two, you know it’s been a rough week.

[Erica]
Yeah. I also started going to the gym a little bit this week, which looks very different for me right now. And I’m trying to stay grateful, I guess, for the ways that I can still move my body.

So for me right now, I’m on week four of crutches out of six. So I have about two and a half more weeks to go before I can start to get my legs back. And in the gym, I’ll be on the air bike pumping with my arms.

And then my one leg kind of spins it around a little bit too. And then I’ll go do my PT exercises and some like an arm workout, which has also felt really good. You know, it’s felt nice to stay mobile.

[Mattias]
Yeah, it’s got to be frustrating. I mean, to get the weight to your bench alone, like to get like a 10 pound weight, like it’s you need help, right?

[Erica]
Yep. This has been a big lesson for me in a season of needing a lot of help. Because even getting set up for my workout right now, I have to ask somebody to bring the bench over and to lay out the weights for me.

And to feel okay about asking somebody to also clean up my equipment for me, which doesn’t feel great. I’ve always been somebody who from a very early age has done things on my own and not relied on many other people and has been, you know, very independent. But I’ve had to get very comfortable with just asking for help and receiving that.

And everybody, I’ve just been blown away by how much everybody has shown up for me and for us and has stepped in to help out like that.

[Mattias]
I was feeling like, to me, this would have been important to me, starting to have like kind of the work again to get the clients in. I think that would have been a really big, like, just feeling like I had something productive, like I had something more kind of routine back to kind of normal. Did you feel that way this week?

[Erica]
Yeah, I did. I think I think I told you this a couple weeks ago when things were really, really hard. But more a lot of people ask me, like, what’s your pain level?

And it’s zero. I don’t feel pain anymore. But my leg is doing great.

It’s more a mindset for me to feel like, I guess, maybe accepting where I am in my activity level and feeling some sort of productivity or meaning in my week. And so getting back into clients and the podcast and some of my normal things felt really, really good. Like I was getting back to myself a little bit.

But I’ve tried to really push myself in focusing on what I always tell my clients. When you’re uncomfortable and when you’re not having a great time, that’s usually when you have an opportunity for growth. And so embrace that.

And so I’ve tried to stay focused there. And man, that is really not as easy as it sounds. And so I should remember that when I say that in session.

It’s a hard thing.

[Mattias]
Yeah. Maybe it’s kind of like how it’s advisable for realtors to move every so often so that they can go through the pain of how hard that is for their clients and they can relate to them. So just break something every so often.

[Erica]
Yeah, I know. Yeah. I did realize, though, that I don’t know if I quite understood how much energy it takes to recover.

And I did read some about this, that even if you’re not experiencing pain anymore in your body, that it uses an incredible amount of effort to continue healing and putting all the energy towards your joint. But yesterday when I went all around Costco, and this was after the gym, and I guess I had PT the day before, I was just like, done. I couldn’t move anymore.

I didn’t get a cart.

[Mattias]
She hobbled around with the crutches.

[Erica]
I refused to use those motorized carts. Come on.

[Mattias]
You could have like run people over. It would have been fun. You should just get a little or a ding ding bell.

It would have been a great time.

[Erica]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mattias]
But it’s been it’s been hard. And it’s, you know, yeah, grateful for the community. I think we’re both really excited or just kind of relieved, maybe even to kind of start getting back in the swing of things.

So looking forward to that, just continuing to grow. And then in just a few short weeks, you’ll be learning to walk again.

[Erica]
Yeah, I’m so excited for that. And my PT was like, you know, you’re going to be able to run soon. And I was like, I hate running.

[Mattias]
I don’t want to do that.

[Erica]
I don’t want to do that. Thank you, though.

[Mattias]
Nothing like CrossFit to make you hate running. Did you have anything else you want to say about that? Or should we go?

[Erica]
No, no, no, no. Yeah. No.

Today we talked to Kristen Jacoby and out of Raleigh, North Carolina, originally from Virginia. And represent and she is somebody who I could probably create a separate podcast on my own and then talk to her for a while. Just about the mental health side of things.

But she’s also a real estate agent.

[Mattias]
Yeah, it was like we definitely had that role revert. We didn’t plan it. But, you know, you had a lot of you talked a lot and it was great.

It was great.

[Erica]
Well, thank you. Usually I’m the one that talks too much.

[Mattias]
So it’s nice to sit back and just kind of listen.

[Erica]
I’m telling you, you know, when there’s people that are open to those kinds of questions, I can talk forever. And she was she was she really, really was an open book. A lot of times people will say, I’m an open book.

You can ask me anything. And she really was. And that was great.

Yeah. Super helpful.

[Mattias]
Yeah. So without further ado, here is Kristen Jacoby. Welcome back to the RAI Agent.

We are here with Kristen Jacoby. Kristen, thanks so much for joining us today.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Thank you so much for having me. I’m super excited.

[Mattias]
Where are you coming out of today, Kristen?

[Kristen Jacoby]
I am based out of Raleigh, North Carolina.

[Mattias]
And we’re not too far apart.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Are we like neighbors?

[Mattias]
We are in Harrisonburg, Virginia. So a little bit further north. Yeah.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Oh, my gosh. Okay, we’re gonna have so much fun. I’m originally from Virginia.

[Erica]
I wonder because I think I saw you went to Virginia Tech, right?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes, I did.

[Erica]
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Where are you originally from?

[Kristen Jacoby]
I’m from the 757. It’s a small town called Yorktown. I’m really surprised when people know where it is.

But that’s where I’m originally from. And then I went to school in Blacksburg.

[Erica]
Oh, okay. Yorktown is in like Williamsburg area or?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes, Busch Gardens. Okay.

[Erica]
All right. Yeah. Awesome.

I have a really good friend that lives Newport News. So I go there often to visit her.

[Kristen Jacoby]
I love that. That’s the neighboring town of Yorktown.

[Erica]
So small world. Yeah, yeah. I spent some time in Yorktown.

And so then you moved down to North Carolina?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes. After school, I spent about a year in Blacksburg selling real estate and then decided to solo move to Raleigh and take this leap of faith and start doing real estate down here.

[Mattias]
What made you do that? What called you to Raleigh?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Oh my gosh. I mean, how deep do we want to get? I mean, I’m an open book.

So I’ll share the story.

[Erica]
We want to hear everything.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Okay, so full transparency. As we know, life can get a little messy. And I started my career and then I got into a toxic relationship.

And I just felt like I was like ready for something new because I love Blacksburg. But I just like always visioned living my 20s in more of a city area. So it all just kind of happened naturally how life always works itself out, that cliche saying.

And it was kind of time to get away from that relationship. And then I got a really good opportunity to move down here. And it was kind of like, I’d be dumb to say no.

So within a month, I packed up my things, got my North Carolina license and moved to Raleigh all by myself.

[Erica]
Amazing. Some of those relationships, I don’t know if this was your experience, but depending on how intense they are, sometimes it does take a very physical removal from the entire location to reset.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Absolutely. I think that if I didn’t have the physical separation, it would have been drug out a lot longer. And I think we’ve all experienced some kind of toxicity, whether it’s a romantic or platonic relationship.

And it always does put you in some kind of pickle and it’s hard no matter what. So the physical separation definitely helped me mentally and just be able to move on and start a new chapter of life. And I’ve definitely transformed since being in Blacksburg to now.

I was a basket case when I moved to Raleigh.

[Erica]
That sounds like a really good change for you.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes.

[Mattias]
What was the licensing process like? I mean, you said in a month. I mean, so were you having to retake a whole course?

Did you just have to take a test? What did that look like?

[Kristen Jacoby]
So this is my favorite thing to chat on because it’s kind of a golden nugget that not many people know about. So since I had my license in Virginia, some states have reciprocity. And when I looked into Virginia and North Carolina, it didn’t appear that they did.

Well, I love just like reaching out to people and being like, hey, like, is this possible? So I reached out to the commission and got in contact with someone here and they were like, actually, yes. So that is how I was able to get my license so quickly in North Carolina because they did, the states had that relationship.

So I just essentially had to show proof of my licensing there that I was in good standing with my current, what is it? It’s not commission. What is it?

The association. And once I had that, they approved my license here. Of course, there’s always fees.

You pay to be in real estate. We love it. And then after that, I just had to do my post licensing within a year of being licensed here, which that was grueling.

That was 90 hours.

[Mattias]
Oh, wow.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yeah, it wasn’t fun.

[Mattias]
And I guess I got to even backtrack a step further. Like what made you get your license and start selling in Blacksburg? What brought you into real estate in the first place?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Honestly, that’s a question. It’s not like, oh my God, like I love houses. I just had like a vision for my life and it just, again, all kind of happened naturally.

I feel like if you lean into life, it’ll show you signs. And I was thinking, okay, what is a way that I could build the future that I want? Real estate is a vehicle that not only you can build like a career for yourself because you are self-employed, it’s also one of the fastest ways to make capital.

And ideally, eventually down the line, I want to be on the developing side of real estate. I want to be on the investing, not so much on the sales side. Although I love sales because I love yapping and chatting with people.

So I don’t know, I love it. I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of it actually, but there might come a day. So that is when I started to just read a ton of books, go down this rabbit hole of how do I get to where I want to go?

And then real estate just kind of happened. And then COVID happened. If it weren’t for COVID, I wouldn’t probably have discovered real estate because that’s when I was like, life is kind of boring.

Like what am I supposed to do? We’re all locked inside. So I got my real estate license.

[Mattias]
It’s a good use of your time. I mean, I know a lot of people that just drank a lot.

[Kristen Jacoby]
I mean, I guess I could have done that too. We love tequila.

[Erica]
Where were you at in school at that point when you got your license?

[Kristen Jacoby]
So that’s another thing. I feel like my life is a little crazy. I actually played D1 sports.

This is part of the reason I got into real estate as well. So when I quit field hockey, field hockey was my life. I felt like it defined me.

It was who I was. I trained from when I started playing around 10 years old and then decided I wanted to go D1 in middle school. So I dedicated my life to it.

So then when I got there, I played my freshman year. And it just wasn’t for me. It was very political.

It was catty. I just didn’t like the environment. And I knew I wasn’t going to play in the Olympics.

Let’s be honest. I made a D1 woohoo, but I was like, I don’t foresee anything past this. So I was like, okay, what do I want to do with my life?

I kind of had an epiphany type moment and being like, okay, what are we going to do? So I ended up quitting the team and I was lost, just absolutely lost. And I need to pour myself into something.

So I got cycle certified, like a spin instructor. And then I got into real estate because I had to channel that energy into something and like that dedication. And yeah, I didn’t know what to do with myself, to be honest.

So that was part of the reason I got real estate too.

[Erica]
Mm-hmm. Getting the real estate license, I mean, that takes a lot of studying in itself too. Were you also doing coursework at this time?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes. So I never stopped school. It actually picked up even more because since I was in a liberal arts college in Virginia, I went to Longwood University.

It was a small school, but after that I had to play catch-up essentially. So I was in summer, fall, winter, spring in sessions for until my senior year of school because I was playing catch-up. So I went from Longwood to community college and then I transferred to tech my junior year.

And I also went to tech because they had the real estate program and I want to do real estate and finance. So that’s the reason why I ended up at tech.

[Erica]
Okay. Interesting.

[Mattias]
I was going to say that it seems like you had a goal of getting to D1 and you had this ambition and you worked, I’m sure, really hard to get there. I mean, I’m sure you dedicated a lot of time and all that stuff. So when you got to this point, you felt like you needed to channel that.

And I’m just saying all this and correct me if I’m assuming it wrong, but to me, I always I had something more like that earlier on because I didn’t really have that ambition to go do something and have a goal that was years out that really taught me that discipline and that hard work. So that’s awesome that you can then channel that somewhere else. And what a valuable lesson that you learned so early from 10 on.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Well, I have a question for you with being in real estate. So from when you got in, you know how when you get in, you’re super excited? Do you deal with like waves of super high dedication?

Because it’s like, we can’t determine what the market’s going to do. What’s your perspective on that? I’m curious.

[Mattias]
Yeah, no. So I have had my, I’m definitely, so this is my, what am I going into my 12th year, 11th year, 11th year? Yeah.

And the past, ever since like 2020, it’s been hot and cold years for me. I’ve had a steady baseline of what I kind of produce. And it’s fine.

It’s more than enough to live with. I’m great with it. I have consistent business that comes in.

But then there’s going to be like a spike of like even double that, or maybe not quite double that every other year. It has been the pattern since about 2020. So I think part of that has to do with my motivation.

My, you know, my, I get burned out, I think a little bit. And so, yeah, definitely there has been that for me. I also have, you know, focused sometimes a little bit more heavily on the investing side of things.

And again, the goal with that is to kind of just balance everything out. So, I mean, if I can get to the a hundred percent expenses covered with passive income, you feel really good, right? You feel like you’re in a really good spot to do whatever you want to in a sales, in the sales world and to make as much as you need.

But yeah, so to answer your question, maybe I answered your question. I definitely have had that for sure. And I think there’s different ways I’ve motivated myself.

And I think for me, like looking at new systems and technology and tools, and that sometimes kind of gets me back into the game. But yeah, it’s often every other year. Has that, have you felt that way as well?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Absolutely. And one thing you mentioned was burnout. Oh my gosh, I don’t know, like it comes in waves too and it’s so unpredictable, but I cannot relate to that more.

And I think it’s just because we have to be plugged in all the time. And before we went live, I know we were kind of talking about like the mental side of things and the therapy side of things. I recently hired a life coach because I think that sometimes we neglect ourselves.

And it’s really tough because we want to be everything to everyone. And like, I love working with my clients. I love my clients so much.

And it’s like, you know, we talk every day. But then when you’re talking to so many people, some days it’s like, oh my gosh, like, I think I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. It didn’t feed myself.

Like, and I’m like, okay, we have to make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves to be able to help other people. And then, you know, if we overextend it leads to burnout. So, oh, I just resonate so much with what you just said.

[Erica]
Can I hear more about the life coach? I’m curious. Have you started that yet?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes, it’s very new, very new. And I actually got connected with her through an agent through I’ve met through social media. I love social media.

I’m all about it. I used to hate it. But then with real estate, I started to make so many connections and I love it.

And so I made this connection. I opened up to a fellow agent in my brokerage because I’m real and not even in the state, nothing. And I was like, this is what I’m feeling.

This is what I’m going through. And I was talking about burnout. Just, you know, I want to keep going.

I want to push to the next level. But I feel like if I’m not okay internally, I’m not going to be able to get there. And he was like, I want to introduce you to someone.

And I was like, when he first told me about it, I was like, I don’t know. I was like, I hate being sold to. I know I’m a salesperson.

I hate being sold to. And I was like, I don’t know how I feel about this. And then I ended up getting on a call.

And I just told her, I was like, my anxiety is getting to a point where it’s hindering me. And I mean, like, I’ll go meet someone at a random house. Like, no problem.

Like, have I met you? No. Will I meet you at a property in the middle of the woods?

Yeah. But like, when it comes to my anxiety, I’m so nervous to text someone and be like, hey, like, are you still looking? Are you still in the market?

I don’t know. So I was like, I think it’s time to start to unravel the things inside my brain. Like, this is really vulnerable.

Because like, I don’t want people knowing this about me. But at the same time, like, I want people to know that like, although you see what you see on social media, you see us in person. Like, we definitely still struggle with things as agents.

And I want to be my best self. So that’s where I hired the Life Coach to kind of untangle things inside of me, to be able to be my best self, to then show up to clients and, you know, whatever else, builders, whatever we’re doing, whatever project we’re working on, to be that.

[Erica]
I love that. I love that you’re open to something new like that, too. Or even to recognize that it’s, it’s at a point where more help is, it’s going to be really helpful for you so that you can be more effective in your job, too.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Absolutely. It was, it’s hard, because I’m really bad at asking for help. Like, really bad.

And I was in therapies from a young age. So I don’t know, it’s like my body, like, resists it. I’ve had to share some, like, really deep things over and over and over again.

And it’s like, you get to a point where just being like, I’ll just deal with it myself. Like, I don’t, I’ll just deal with it. But I think that asking for help and leaning on other people is so incredibly important in this industry.

[Erica]
Yeah. Does going, like, working with a Life Coach, just that terminology as opposed to a therapist, does that feel a little bit different to you? Like, having had therapy in the past, does that feel like a different avenue that might feel better, maybe?

[Kristen Jacoby]
A little bit. Like, I’m still figuring out that piece of it. And that’s why I was like, I’ve tried therapy for a while.

And I’ve always heard of these Life Coaches. And again, like, I’m going to be honest, I was kind of bitter towards it. I was like, no, I don’t want to do that.

But I was like, you know what? I’ll try anything. Like, let’s just do it.

So I haven’t really been working with her long enough to figure out the differences to be able to, like, confidently say, like, this is the difference. Right now for me, it’s just opening up to someone. Like, we’re kind of in that stage to be like, hey, like, I think this is where anxiety’s stemming from.

This is a situation that happened. And then it’s just kind of, like, festered throughout. I’m not really sure.

I’m not really familiar with the psychology side. You might have to help me on that one to unpack. But that’s my side of it.

[Erica]
Yeah, that sounds like it’ll be super helpful. And, man, I’m a big believer in just there are so many different ways we can experience therapy, you know, through, like, even travel, you know, being in a different culture for a while or the gym, traditional therapy, friends. I feel like it can show up in so many different ways.

[Kristen Jacoby]
I agree. And I think that that’s something that going back to, like, you can’t forget about yourself, like you mentioned the gym. I used to play sports.

I was in the gym every single day. And then I just started to let real estate take over my life. And it’s like, I wasn’t even going to the gym.

And that was my therapy for a while. So traveling, too. I know you mentioned you see my Instagram.

I just started, like, actually living my life and traveling. And you are so right. It’s just it’s so therapeutic.

[Erica]
Yeah, I did see a little bit of your travel. I think I was looking at maybe some pictures of you in Miami. And I told them, I was like, she loves to travel.

We love to travel. But I was like, but I think she travels with a little bit more ease than we do. We have three kids, three young kids.

And so I think she just gets to, like, go have fun. And it looks amazing.

[Kristen Jacoby]
And it’s probably a little bit different. I don’t have any kiddos. I really want kids one day.

But right now, it’s just me, myself, and I. So I just kind of hop on a plane and go wherever. But yes, it’s probably a little bit different.

But travel is amazing. And I just started traveling recently, like, within the past year. So it’s really opened up my eyes to a lot.

Life is meant to be lived.

[Erica]
Yes. And it sounds like you really take advantage of that as much as you can. Yeah.

And I wanted to ask you, kind of going back to what you had mentioned about having an identity shift there after quitting field hockey, it sounds like you have had several times in your life where there has been a big kind of all of a sudden turn. And you’re all of a sudden going in a different direction. And I’m just curious, how many times has that happened for you that you can think of where usually when we remember it, it’s like that happened before or after this one single event?

And you mentioned field hockey. You mentioned moving. How many others have there been?

[Kristen Jacoby]
So the first one, I love this. I like, I feel like we’re getting so deep. But so the first event that happened was when I lost my dad when I was nine.

That’s what got me into field hockey. These are like the events where I’m like, that’s when something changed in my life. So that’s when field hockey started.

And then the next thing was when I committed. That’s my life turned again. So when I was 18 and then 19, I quit the team.

So that was another turning point. Getting my real estate license and going to Virginia Tech was the next like pivotal move. Because that’s when I got into real estate.

And then the next one was moving to Raleigh. So that’s the series of major events.

[Erica]
Yeah, wow. That’s incredible. When you, I should stop asking questions soon and let you talk, Mattias.

But I could talk to you forever, Kristen. I think I’ll just ask you yet before we pivot over to real estate. But I just wanted to know when you moved to North Carolina, when you moved to Raleigh, you said you were a basket case when you got there.

I’m just curious how long it took you to really feel like it became home, if it did start to feel like that, and build a sense of community and friends and what that process was like.

[Kristen Jacoby]
It was really hard because I did it alone. So it wasn’t pretty. A lot of tears.

I vlogged my whole experience, which I’m really excited. I’m going to start opening up about that and showing those vlogs. It took me, let’s see, I moved in April 2023.

And it was March 2024 when things started finally looking up for me. And that’s when I found a friend group. And I just started to really feel almost like I had a family.

Because I do believe that your blood doesn’t always have to be your family. And that was a pivotal moment where I was like, okay, I felt like I could breathe in Raleigh. It wasn’t like I was in survival mode 24-7 between being a 1099 and fully commission-based.

And having to provide for myself, it was scary. And then once I started to acclimate with friends is when I was like, okay. But I’m still a little like all over.

[Mattias]
I’m curious what it looked like to start building your business in this new area that you had no sphere when you first moved in. How did that look for you?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Absolutely. So fun fact, I’ve never sold a house in my hometown. Um, when the opportunity that I got down here was actually with a mega team.

And when I got the opportunity, I was like, what the heck is that? What is a mega team? And so I was with a boutique broker brokerage in Virginia.

And so Raleigh is very different from any market that I’ve seen. So when I moved down here, it was a lot working with, it was resale and new construction. And another fun fact, new construction.

I don’t know about you, Mattias, but when I first got in real estate, new construction freaked me out. I was like, how does this even happen? So I took the opportunity and that helped me not only meet builders in the area, but, you know, get connected with all sorts of people.

And then being on the team helped me acclimate, meet more agents and, um, start to build my sphere. And they also did have Zillow, which I’ll be totally honest. If it weren’t for Zillow with moving to the new area, I don’t think my business would be what it is today because that allowed me to develop and foster a lot of connections with folks.

[Mattias]
Sure. Yeah, that’s interesting. Yeah, because like you would have had to be like reaching out to people, like fairly cold if it’s Zillow leads, right?

I mean, like they would be, you’d be kind of reaching out to inquiries, et cetera. Um, I’m just connecting that a little bit to like, does that have anything to do with, um, like the, the anxiety about responding to people? Like if, if they’re like, are you still interested?

Cause I just, I don’t do very much with, uh, with that kind of cold lead stuff, but whenever I have played with it, it has always felt like I’m bothering somebody. Um, is that related at all?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Oh, a hundred percent. Like I’m sure that you have some horror stories of reaching out to people where it’s just, it’s not gone well. And you’re like, I am so sorry.

I’m so sorry. And it was very different the way that I built my business in North Carolina versus Virginia. Cause I did for sale by owner in Virginia.

So very different models. Um, and probably it’s a little bit more cutthroat than, you know, small, small town Blacksburg. So it definitely did foster some anxieties only because of, it’s very unpredictable when you meet someone through Zillow.

And I also think that there’s a lot of miseducation through when the person is reaching out through Zillow. Sometimes they think they’re going to get the listing agent. When in fact, it’s just going to some random buyer’s agent.

So sometimes they’re really quick to shoot you down and you’re like, I’m so sorry. Like I did not mean to offend you. Like did not mean to do that.

I did that answer that or.

[Mattias]
Yeah, no, no, no. That’s exactly what I was curious about. And, and I, I would feel the same way.

I mean, I definitely, uh, I paid for leads for maybe six months, uh, at one point. And it, that felt like it burnt me out a little bit. Um, and then I do get some random ones that I just basically, every time you get a referral there, you basically pay a referral fee.

Um, if it closes and half the time they’re like, well, I clicked on, you know, I want to know what my house was worth or whatever. And I clicked on a button and now I’m not getting, I’m getting 16 calls.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes. And they’re like, oh my gosh.

[Mattias]
And I always try to have that, like, uh, that mindset when I reach out to him, like, Hey, you know, I don’t know if you’re, I’ve been told to reach out to you. I just wanted to check in to see if, you know, there’s anything I can do for you, but it’s, it can definitely be difficult. Um, when it’s, when it’s cold, like if you don’t have that kind of connection already.

So yeah, I totally get that where you’re coming from there.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Have you found something that’s successful for you? Or do you know how, do you know, have more like warm connections when you are meeting people?

[Mattias]
Oh, it’s almost all warm for me. Um, so, so a couple, a couple of things I’ll, I’ll definitely, you know, market or, so I try to stay in touch with my sphere that that’s established. And, uh, you know, the more, have you heard of Ninja selling?

[Kristen Jacoby]
I have, but I’ve never, you know, looked into it. I’ve heard it though.

[Mattias]
That’s a really good resource for building a, like a warm referral based, uh, business. Um, and, and it has some good prospecting stuff too. I’ve done, I’ve done some, um, farming as well.

And those typically are more warm. Like, so not door knocking or cold calling the neighborhood, but if you, if you’ve been sending postcards for two years, for example, um, when they do finally reach out to you and they’re ready to make a move, it’s, they’re already kind of, you know, a little bit warmer than, you know, just clicking on a random ad and not actually, actually expecting to get you there. They’re intentionally reaching out to you, if that makes sense.

[Erica]
So Mattias, his face was also on shopping carts at Martin’s for a while. And we had a lot of people that would come up to us at that point and be like, Oh, I shopped with you the other day. You know, like I see your face.

Yeah, that helps warm it up a little bit. Small talk.

[Kristen Jacoby]
We were shopping the other day, you know, throwing in the goldfish. That’s so funny. I love that.

[Mattias]
I was judging everything you were buying. You sure you needed a bag of chips and six pack?

[Kristen Jacoby]
You sure you needed that? And the ice cream too? No, I’m kidding.

[Mattias]
I’m curious when you moved to Raleigh, this is kind of more on the, like getting your people related question, but what did, did you, did you join Jim at that point? I know you said you kind of let real estate take over. Did you, did you join a community like a gym when you first moved?

[Kristen Jacoby]
I did. And that was actually a whole experience as well. So, and now I post about like living in Raleigh and my experience, because when I moved here, I didn’t know anything.

Like I didn’t even know where to go to the gym. And to me, talk about anxiety. Like I also have gym anxiety.

I just sound like, um, what is it called? Like a, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Um, but so I started to go to one gym and it just like, wasn’t my vibe.

And so then I ended up moving and I went to a crunch fitness and that actually helped me make a lot of friends around my age. And then once you meet one person, it just starts like you meet more people. So, but just recently I switched gyms again and I now go to lifetime and I have the time of my life there.

And I’ve met so many incredible people and it’s just happened like so fast too. And I’ve started to try new classes because I told myself that I need to start trying new things to overcome, because if you live in a state of anxiety constantly, and I’m sure that you can probably speak to this, you’re going to like subconsciously program yourself to live like that. Am I, am I wrong?

Do you have any like, is that true?

[Erica]
No, you know, you’re spot on. I just keep thinking like, you know, the best thing for anxiety is to walk right into it. And that’s exactly what you’re doing.

You’ve done that a lot. Yeah, your entire life, Tristan, you’re an expert now.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Uh, I wish I was an expert on the investing side of real estate, not getting through anxiety, but here we are. But I guess I just took the bull by the horns and I’ve started to try yoga classes and I’m the kind of girl that’s just going to walk in. I’m like, look at, look to someone next to me and be like, it’s my first time.

I don’t know what I’m doing. And so that’s allowed me to meet people and just like, starting to just have fun with life too. Like I embrace being goofy and like, I might be weird to some people, but you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.

[Mattias]
So, you know, I was thinking that’s, that’s like probably the first thing I would try to do is get into some kind of gym and be in like a, a class setting that we can, you know, suffer together. That naturally builds up a bond with those people. I think every time we’ve been in a class setting, we’ve really had a community from, from that gym and it’s super, super valuable.

I’ve gotten business from it, but I think, especially if you’re in a new area, just, just the community feel of the friendship is, I mean, I would value more than the business that comes from it.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Absolutely. No, I completely agree.

[Erica]
What’s a lifetime gym? I don’t know. I’m not familiar with that.

What’s, what’s different about it?

[Kristen Jacoby]
It was new to me too. I was like, what is this? I had no idea until I moved here.

It’s more like a fitness club, I guess. They have like a pool and they offer a ton of classes. They also have a, it’s not a restaurant, but like a cafe.

So sometimes I work out of there, which is really nice and also meet people. I’ve had business meetings there and it’s nice because it’s like you can go work out, shower, change, and then meet someone in the cafe for a coffee or smoothie, which is really nice.

[Erica]
Yeah. That’s so cool. Our gym does not have that.

A little bit more rustic.

[Mattias]
It’s a, it’s a CrossFit gym.

[Kristen Jacoby]
I was going to say, I thought you guys did CrossFit. I was going to ask you. I was like, I don’t want to make it weird, but if you’re expecting me for like CrossFit, I would love to do CrossFit one day.

[Mattias]
It’s awesome. And, and it’s like one of the only places, they don’t have a cafe, but they always have a beer filled fridge or a fridge filled with beer. I was like, this is like the only place where like that would last.

[Erica]
It’s like, I love that. It’s farm fresh eggs. They’re farm fresh eggs and beer.

What a great mixture. Yeah.

[Mattias]
But it’s, it’s a great community. Before that, we did something similar to Orange Theory. And then the, the pandemic happened and we kind of stopped going out and we stayed inside.

[Kristen Jacoby]
COVID will do that. Yeah.

[Mattias]
Yeah. I’ve got to ask if you have any golden nuggets for people. I mean, you, you may have a lot of different ways you could go with this, like moving to a new area, putting yourself out there, anything that comes to mind for golden nuggets for people?

[Kristen Jacoby]
Golden nuggets. I’m, I mean, I’m going to probably hype up social media. I don’t think my business would be what it is if I didn’t just start putting myself out on social media.

And then just being yourself. And I know that sounds so cliche. Like I remember reading something when I was little and it was like, be yourself, you know, like on your room wall, like your parents would stick a stencil up, you know, like that’s what I envisioned in my head.

But the older I get, the more I realize that’s the best thing that we can be. And that’s probably my biggest golden nugget because when you’re authentic, when you’re genuine, you’re going to naturally just attract that back to you, whether it’s in business, making friends, relationships, whatever it is.

[Mattias]
That’s awesome.

[Erica]
Yeah. I love that. And people trust you more easily too.

If they, you know, if they feel like they’re getting the real you. Absolutely. Absolutely.

That’s a great one.

[Mattias]
Um, and do you have any books that you think are fundamental for mindset, for the business or just ones that you’re enjoying right now?

[Kristen Jacoby]
I do. And I came prepared. I literally brought them with me.

So of course I have the cliche, like rich dad, poor dad. That’s the one that got me into real estate, but to actually like provide some value. So law of attraction, this book, I read this and I started selling houses left and right.

Like I believe mindset is so incredibly important. And the author is Michael J. Lozier.

[Mattias]
Yeah.

[Kristen Jacoby]
So I would definitely recommend that one. And the other one is the one thing, if you’re anything like me and you’re squirrely read this book, you’re a little squirrely.

[Mattias]
That’s true. Not that those are great. I, I can’t remember if I’ve read the law of attraction or not.

It’s definitely been out there in my brain to, to, to read. So I have to go back and check my audible, but those are great recommendations.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yeah, absolutely. Do you have any recommendations for me? I always love reading a good new one.

[Mattias]
Um, yeah, I mean, I guess a couple of things come to mind. The one would be the ninja selling. That’s great.

Seven levels of communication. Are you familiar with that one?

[Kristen Jacoby]
I haven’t heard of that book.

[Mattias]
That one is kind of just talking about the different levels that are more impactful, um, to, to actually communicate with people. So like, you know, in person with people is the best, um, down to like an email spam or something. I forget, I forget the email spams, but that one’s, that one’s really good.

Um, I think also, uh, one of the things that came to mind as you were talking, um, about, uh, just kind of, you know, feeling overwhelmed with certain parts of the business is that we’ve been going through a strength based training. We’ve done that together as a couple and we’ve done that. I’m building a sales team and we are each taking that and kind of seeing where we naturally fit within the world of real estate.

And, and I think it’s interesting that most realtors are often realtors feel that they need to kind of do everything. And so, um, focusing on your strengths and then, then thinking about like, like 10 X is better than a two X. I don’t know if you’ve read that or, or the, um, there’s a couple of different ones about delegation that would be helpful to kind of like help get rid of the things that you, the suck energy out of you that are not actually bringing in income.

Um, and then focus on the things that you are best at, um, in, in the business that bring in the most income is the, uh, the basic concepts. So those would be a couple that I’ve, I find very valuable.

[Kristen Jacoby]
I, I’m all over that. You might have to email me those because that’s a lot at once, but I definitely, I love audible. That’s, I’m always like air pod in with the book in.

So definitely want to check those out because I could definitely benefit from that. Especially the last one about delegation and focusing on moneymaking activities.

[Mattias]
It’s, I think it’s something very, very common in our industry. Um, so those are, those are awesome ones, but yeah, I’ll happily, happily share those to you maybe through social media, which brings me to the next thing. How do people find you?

How do they follow you?

[Kristen Jacoby]
So my biggest, I’m not a big Facebook gal, um, but Instagram and TikTok are my two things. I do have a YouTube channel, but don’t judge me. It’s very much in the works, but everything is Kristen with two N’s Jacoby (@kristennjacoby).

So just my name, K R I S T E N N J A C O B Y. And that’s where you can find me.

[Mattias]
Cool. Did you, where, where did you, did you get a lot of traction on TikTok? Which one, what took off quicker for you?

I’m just curious.

[Kristen Jacoby]
So TikTok, and I actually, um, just this past week, I’m going to be hosting a major event in Raleigh for people to meet each other because I started to like, I have, I know a bunch of people, but I want them to meet each other. So I would post this random TikTok and I was like, Hey, like I’m thinking about having like a small event. Like, how do you guys feel?

Would you guys be interested? Um, it now has, I think in like two days, 50,000 views and thousands of likes. So I’m like, if anyone knows a great event venue, let me know.

I do love some TikTok and I love connecting with people. So anytime it’s me responding. So I don’t have AI or anything like that.

It’s me. You get me. Wonderful.

[Erica]
Well, thank you, Kristen. It’s been so fun to talk with you.

[Kristen Jacoby]
Yes, you guys as well. Thank you for having me on the podcast. It was really fun and I’m honored to be here.

[Erica]
Thanks for listening to the REI Agent.

[Mattias]
If you enjoyed this episode, hit subscribe to catch new shows every week.

[Erica]
Visit REIAgent.com for more content.

[Mattias]
Until next time, keep building the life you want.

[Erica]
All content in the show is not investment advice or mental health therapy. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.