Key Takeaways
- Kate D’Addabbo shows that great agents protect clients by combining market knowledge, design strategy, and honest financial guidance.
- Strong presentation, smart pricing, and local expertise can dramatically change how buyers respond to a home.
- Agents must know their worth, ask for their fee, and prove their value through preparation, negotiation, and trusted service.
The REI Agent with Kate D’Addabbo
Value-rich, The REI Agent podcast takes a holistic approach to life through real estate.
Hosted by Mattias Clymer, an agent and investor, alongside his wife Erica Clymer, a licensed therapist, the show features guests who strive to live bold and fulfilled lives through business and real estate investing.
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The Moment Real Estate Becomes More Than a Transaction
In this episode of The REI Agent Podcast, Mattias Clymer sits down with Kate D’Addabbo, a luxury real estate specialist whose story is packed with grit, instinct, courage, and hard-earned wisdom.
Kate does not treat real estate like a simple sales job. She sees it as a responsibility. A home is not just a pretty listing, a commission opportunity, or a quick closing. It is often the largest financial decision a person will make, and she believes an agent has to respect that weight.
Her journey from commercial real estate to luxury residential sales gives her a rare edge. She understands numbers. She understands design. She understands buyer psychology. Most of all, she understands that true expertise means telling the truth, even when that truth may cost the agent a deal.
From Commercial Deals to Residential Trust
Why Kate Brought Investment Thinking Into the Home Buying Process
Kate began her career in commercial real estate, where deals were judged through the clear lens of return on investment, sales volume, location strength, and long-term value. That background shaped the way she now advises residential buyers and sellers.
Instead of looking at a house only as a place to live, Kate helps clients understand how the property is positioned in the market. She thinks about what a renovation may return, whether a buyer may become overleveraged, and whether the home will still make sense if life changes.
That is one of the strongest lessons from the episode. A great agent does not simply open doors. A great agent protects the client from decisions they may regret six months later.
“I will make the commission, but I will not have served you best by allowing you to overpay for this property.”
That one sentence captures the difference between a salesperson and a trusted advisor. Kate is not chasing a fast commission. She is building a reputation rooted in honesty, wisdom, and client protection.
“Walk away, put your hand on the doorknob and walk away.”
That kind of advice takes strength. In a competitive market, buyers can become emotional. They want the house. They fear losing it. They convince themselves that paying more is the only way forward. But Kate reminds listeners that another property will come. Bad numbers can haunt a buyer long after the excitement fades.
The Door That Changed Everything
How a Want Ad Became a Career
Kate’s start in real estate was not glamorous. She answered a want ad for an office job at a commercial real estate company. At the time, she thought it might be a temporary stop before moving to California.
Instead, that simple decision opened a door that changed her life.
She started in an office role, then kept asking for more work. Soon, she was helping with marketing, bookkeeping, and nearly every part of the business except selling real estate. Eventually, her boss suggested she become an agent.
Kate did not wait until she felt perfectly ready. She bought maps, made calls, asked questions, and started. That is where her real lesson begins.
“If you don’t ask for what you want, you will never get anywhere.”
That principle became one of the defining ideas of her career. Kate asked for listings. She asked retailers if they were expanding. She asked for meetings. She asked questions until she learned the business from lawyers, engineers, developers, retailers, and property owners.
Her story is a reminder that opportunity often rewards the person bold enough to ask. Not the person who knows everything. Not the person with the perfect plan. The person who asks, learns, and keeps moving.
The Power of Being Curious Enough to Become Dangerous
Why Questions Became Kate’s Secret Weapon
Kate describes her early years as a time of constant learning. She asked experts a million questions. She learned about zoning, development, wetlands, buildings, retail corridors, and market movement.
That knowledge did not stay trapped in the commercial world. It became one of her greatest advantages in residential real estate.
Today, she pays attention to what is coming and going in a town. She watches new developments, office parks, apartment projects, walkable corridors, and zoning agendas. That allows her to help clients see more than the house in front of them. She helps them see the future around the house.
That matters because a buyer may love a home today, but the surrounding market may change tomorrow. A road may become busier. Taxes may rise. A shopping center may lose major anchors. A new walkable corridor may make a neighborhood more desirable. A waterfront area may face flooding or insurance challenges.
Kate’s expertise is not surface-level. It is rooted in studying how places change over time.
Paint, Presentation, and the Hidden Psychology of Selling
The Simple Upgrade That Can Completely Change Buyer Perception
One of the most powerful moments in the episode comes when Kate and Mattias discuss the return on paint. For Kate, paint is not just cosmetic. It is one of the simplest ways to change how buyers experience a property.
“It’s over a thousand percent return on investment on paint.”
That line is short, shocking, and useful. Sellers often resist painting because they assume buyers will paint anyway. Kate sees it differently. Buyers make fast judgments, especially online. Before they ever step inside, they are deciding whether the home feels fresh, bright, clean, and worth seeing.
That is why she pushes sellers toward light, bright colors when preparing a home for market. A dark room can be beautiful if it is done with skill, but when selling, the goal is not to please one exotic taste. The goal is to appeal to the widest serious buyer pool possible.
“Presentation is absolutely everything.”
Kate’s approach is practical and honest. The way a house appears online can decide whether a buyer books the showing or scrolls past. Strong presentation creates stronger interest. Strong interest creates more offers. More offers can create better outcomes for the seller.
In her world, the little things matter. Paint matters. Light matters. Furniture matters. Photos matter. Even the sponge in the sink matters.
That may sound small, but selling a home is often a battle of perception. A buyer may not understand why a house feels off, but they still feel it. Kate’s job is to remove as many negative distractions as possible before the market ever gets a vote.
The Truth Sellers Do Not Always Want to Hear
Why Managing Expectations Is Part of the Job
Kate does not pretend that every seller wants to hear her advice. Some sellers do not want to paint. Some do not want to prepare the home. Some do not want to price realistically. Some believe the market should reward them simply because they love their house.
But Kate understands that the market is not personal. It is the market. It responds to timing, competition, scarcity, buyer demand, presentation, and price.
If a seller chooses not to prepare properly, Kate believes the conversation must shift toward expectations. A seller can ignore presentation, but they cannot ignore the likely result.
That honesty is part of the work. Real estate is emotional because homes carry memories. Sellers may feel hurt when buyers do not respond. They may take feedback personally. They may feel invaded when strangers walk through the house and critique it.
Kate respects that emotion, but she also knows her role. She has to help clients make informed decisions, even when the process feels hard.
A Sales Agent Must Sell
The Difference Between Showing and Actually Moving Property
One of Kate’s strongest comments comes when she talks about follow-up. If feedback is vague, she calls the other agent. If buyers looked online but did not book a showing, she wants to know why. She is not passive.
That kind of behavior separates agents who wait from agents who work.
“You are a sales agent, not a show agent.”
That line cuts right through the noise. The job is not just to place a listing online, unlock doors, or wait for the market to perform magic. The job is to sell. Selling requires strategy, feedback, correction, communication, and courage.
Kate’s message is especially important for agents who want to build long-term careers. Clients do not remember excuses. They remember results. They remember whether their agent fought for them, advised them clearly, and helped them get through one of the most stressful transitions of their lives.
Know Your Worth Before You Ask Anyone to Trust You
The Fee Conversation Every Agent Must Learn to Have
Kate believes one of the hardest things for agents to ask for is their fee. That is especially true when clients are friends, family members, or people inside their personal sphere.
But she challenges agents to think clearly. Everyone else in the room expects to be paid for their work. Why should the agent be the only person expected to discount their value simply because the conversation feels uncomfortable?
Kate does not hide her fee until the end. She puts it out front. She explains what she charges and why she charges it. That confidence is not arrogance. It is professionalism.
“If you can’t negotiate for yourself, who can you negotiate for?”
That is one of the biggest gut-check moments in the episode. An agent who cannot defend their own value may struggle to defend a client’s value. An agent who folds immediately on their own fee may raise questions about how they will negotiate when the stakes are higher.
Kate also makes it clear that agents must earn the fee. Confidence without work is empty. But when an agent brings real expertise, real strategy, real market knowledge, and real service, they should not be ashamed to charge accordingly.
Why Smooth Looks Easy Only Because Expertise Made It Easy
The Invisible Work Behind a Painless Transaction
Mattias brings up a common frustration in the industry. When a transaction goes smoothly, some clients may think the agent did not have to do much. They may see the final commission and wonder why the agent earned that amount.
Kate’s response reframes the issue beautifully. A smooth transaction is not proof that the agent did nothing. It may be proof that the agent did everything well.
“You paid me for that perfectly smooth transaction.”
That kind of smoothness comes from experience. It comes from preparation, market knowledge, pricing strategy, vendor relationships, negotiation skill, contract understanding, and the ability to anticipate problems before they explode.
Clients often pay for what they never had to suffer through. They pay for the problems that did not happen. They pay for the crisis that got avoided. They pay for the calm process that could have been chaotic with the wrong guide.
That is why Kate calls it VIP treatment. The best agents make hard things feel easier because they have carried the weight behind the scenes.
Local Expertise Is Not Optional
Why Knowing the Market Means Knowing What Is Coming Next
After more than 20 years in the same region, Kate sees deep local expertise as one of the most important traits an agent can offer. Negotiation matters. Marketing matters. But local knowledge may be the difference between a smart purchase and a painful surprise.
She believes agents must know what is happening in the towns and communities they serve. That means taxes, schools, employers, developments, roads, utilities, shopping centers, insurance issues, coastal risks, flooding patterns, and more.
A buyer moving into a new area may not know what questions to ask. That is why the agent has to know.
Kate’s point is simple but powerful. A property does not exist in isolation. It exists inside a street, a neighborhood, a town, a tax structure, an economic pattern, and a future. If an agent does not understand those layers, the client may be exposed to risks they never saw coming.
Kate’s Four Golden Nuggets for Agents
Ask, Price, Present, and Be the Expert
Near the end of the episode, Kate shares four golden nuggets that every agent can carry into their business.
First, ask for what you want. Ask for the listing. Ask for the agreement. Ask for the fee. Ask for the next step. Do not leave everything floating in uncertainty.
Second, price the house correctly. Overpricing can damage momentum, reduce interest, and cost the seller money. Strong pricing is not weakness. It can create competition and help a property sell for more.
Third, presentation matters. Visual presentation can be the difference between yes and no. The buyer’s first impression often happens online, and the home must be ready for that moment.
Fourth, be the expert.
“You are the expert.”
Kate believes agents are hired to understand the contracts, paperwork, laws, roof, mechanicals, market, street, area, process, and people needed to get from day one to closing day. That is a serious responsibility.
Her website says she has a guy, and that phrase reflects a bigger philosophy. Kate shares trusted vendor names, gives helpful advice, and connects people with the resources they need. She does not hoard information. She uses it to build credibility and serve people better.
“But if you don’t ask for it, nobody else will.”
That final reminder lands with force. Agents cannot wait for confidence to arrive. They build confidence by acting with purpose, asking directly, and becoming good enough to back up every claim they make.
The Book That Stayed With Her
Why The Red Tent Resonated Beyond the Page
When Mattias asks Kate about a favorite book, she mentions The Red Tent. She describes it as a book that stayed with her because of its focus on shared female experiences, relationships, and spaces.
That answer adds a human layer to the episode. Kate is not only talking about houses, contracts, pricing, and negotiation. She is also talking about connection, community, and the relationships that shape a meaningful life.
That fits the spirit of The REI Agent Podcast. The show is not only about transactions. It is about building a better life through real estate, wisdom, balance, and personal growth.
The Agent Who Refuses to Be Average
A Final Word on Courage, Expertise, and Service
Kate D’Addabbo’s episode is a powerful reminder that real estate rewards the people who are willing to become true advisors. Not order takers. Not door openers. Not people who chase commissions at any cost.
Her story shows that great agents ask better questions, study their markets deeply, tell clients the truth, defend their own value, and care enough to walk away from a bad deal.
That kind of career is not built overnight. It is built through curiosity, courage, hard conversations, strong preparation, and the willingness to keep learning.
For agents listening to this episode, the message is clear. Become the expert. Ask for what you want. Protect your clients. Respect your value. And never forget that the smoothest transaction may only look easy because a skilled professional made it that way.
Kate’s journey proves that when an agent combines heart, numbers, design, local knowledge, and courage, real estate becomes more than a business. It becomes a way to guide people into better decisions, stronger futures, and homes that truly serve their lives.
Stay tuned for more inspiring stories on The REI Agent podcast, your go-to source for insights, inspiration, and strategies from top agents and investors who are living their best lives through real estate.
For more content and episodes, visit reiagent.com.
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Contact Kate D’Addabbo
Mentioned References
Transcript
[Mattias]
Welcome back to the REI Agent. My guest today is Kate D’Addabbo, a luxury real estate specialist with Coldwell Banker, serving Connecticut and Rhode Island with over 20 years of experience. After building a career in commercial real estate, Kate transitioned to the residential side, where she combines her sharp negotiating skills, eye for architecture and design, and deep market knowledge to consistently sell above ask in record time.
She’s ranked in the top 5% of Coldwell Banker agents internationally, and has built a reputation as one of the most trusted luxury agents in the region. Kate, welcome to the show.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Thank you for having me, glad to be here.
[Mattias]
Kate, it’s interesting, we talked about it a little bit, but you came from a commercial real estate background before transitioning to luxury residential skills. I’m sorry, residential side of real estate. So what skills came with you?
What did you use in that transition? And I just have to say, it’s normal. I normally see it the other way around, where somebody might’ve started in residential, and they ended up moving into commercial because they felt like it was a better fit.
So it’s not often that you see it the other way around.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
I know, but I actually felt like I had so much background knowledge from my commercial real estate days, where you look at a deal basically strictly from an investment standpoint. I specialized in retail real estate, so we were either looking at it from a sales, you know, return investment for an investor, or we were looking at it through the retailer’s eyes, where is this a location they wanna be? How much money can they make?
What’s the sales volume like? Does it serve their customer? Everything was about return on investment and sales.
But I felt as though… So I did that, you know, I was very lucky that I walked through a door one day, and I was introduced to that world, and I took off in that world. It was, you know, it was very exciting time.
I was in my early 20s, it was a very exciting time. It was a lot of hard working, and I learned a ton. And so as a residential, when I decided to step back into real estate, taking some time off with my kids, I thought, what am I deeply connected to?
What have I been doing my whole life? Well, I’ve been in selling homes, designing those homes, renovating those homes, you know, selling those homes for an investment. I really understood the investment side of residential.
So I felt as though I was really connected to the design aspect of selling, but I also really wanted to educate my buyers on the investment side. You know, what, you know, if you put in a new kitchen and it costs you 50,000, what kind of return can you expect? How is this house positioned in the market?
You’re young, you’re going, or you’re not young, or, you know, this is an investment vehicle for you. What can you expect long-term out of this investment vehicle? Yes, it is your home, but you know, you may change jobs, you may decide to upsize or downsize.
You want to make sure you’re well positioned in the market that at any given time, you’re not over leveraged in your house. And so I felt as though there was a real need in the marketplace for a residential agent to understand all of those aspects of the business. I do feel a lot of agents now have really caught up because just because of the rapid fire market situation where housing has exploded, a lot of people are looking at housing right now as an investment vehicle and, you know, a trajectory to wealth, basically.
But that wasn’t necessarily happening 10 years ago. You know what I mean? A lot of people were, you know, in 2008, 2009, you know, buying at the top of the market, doing renovations and being, you know, underwater on the value of their home.
So, you know, I felt as though I could be basically a trusted advisor, and I was. I was. Throughout my whole life, I’ve been renovating and selling properties always for a pretty massive profit.
I mean, record-setting profits. Because I haven’t, and that’s the other thing I was able to, I knew that I could bring to this industry that I couldn’t bring back to commercial real estate was design. What are buyers looking for?
Because I love design. I mean, I love fabric, I love tile, I love flooring, I love wall color. I love design.
I love a new kitchen. I love a new bathroom. And I sort of, you know, because I love it, I’m really up on exactly what’s in, what the retailers are selling for furniture, what furniture looks good in what style houses.
I mean, that’s why you see that the split levels have really come back into favor now because all of the retailers are selling furniture that looks great in those homes. You know what I mean? I mean, so that is really, so I tried to bring the business side to home ownership.
And I still do that on a daily basis. I mean, I’m in a multiple offer today that I have said to my client, I know you want this house, but we’re only going to this number because in six months, if you pay over this, you will never talk to me again. And I don’t want that for you.
I will make the commission. I’ll walk away. I will make the commission, but I will not have served you best by allowing you to overpay for this property when I know we will always get another property.
Walk away, put your hand on the doorknob and walk away. As you know, that’s who I am as a person. I was like that in commercial real estate.
I would analyze the deal. The deal was a good deal. I had advised my client, I think it’s a good deal.
This is a good location. And I do the same thing for my residential buyers. You know, I mean, I look at a lot of multifamilies.
I have a lot of multifamily buyers and I’ve advised a lot of my multifamily buyers, right, not a great time to buy multifamily necessarily in certain markets because the returns are just not high enough. You know, there’s no return in certain markets because the property value is escalating so quickly. So I don’t think a lot of real estate agents approach it that way, but that’s how I approach it.
[Mattias]
Well, you know, I think it kind of reminds me of like, you know, the two sides of the brain, maybe the head and the heart, the analytical, the creative. And I think, you know, what you’ve done is you’ve married the two. You know, you’ve taken skills in both atmosphere or both hemispheres of the brain.
And I think it’s, that is, it is more rare. And I think when you think stereotypically, you think, you know, commercial is all analytical, right? And then if you think about a residential, it’s a lot more emotional, a lot more feeling, a lot more, you know, that’s how you sell a house.
It’s like, you know, somebody who gets, they tell themselves a story about living in the house. They have an emotional connection with, you know, your staging or, you know, your renovations. That’s what really draws them to it.
And it sounds like, you know, the ideal is to have both. You know, it is the biggest financial transaction that most people will be doing in their lives. And yeah, you’re able to do that with both skills.
So that’s awesome. Let’s rewind real quick and ask, like, what was that door? How did you actually get started in real estate?
Like what door opened for you in the commercial world?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
I mean, how I got started in real estate was a story that probably wouldn’t happen today. I answered a want ad to work in the office of a commercial real estate office. And I walked in, I got the job.
And this is sort of typical for me. I think it was a receptionist position. And I just walked in, it was a commercial real estate company.
I didn’t, I actually planned to move to California and the job was Weathersfield Connect. And I thought this would be a great job until I moved to California and start my life in California. As every young person on the East Coast thinks to move to California.
So I started working in the job and a month in, it was, you know, it was just so boring. And I just started asking, is there anything else I can do? Is there anything else I can do?
And then before long, I was in charge of marketing. Then I was in charge of bookkeeping. And literally eight months in, in charge of everything other than selling real estate.
And I said to my boss, listen, I gotta go. I’ve done what I can do here. I gotta go.
I gotta find something that I’m good at, like that I wanna do. I’m good at all of this stuff, but I don’t really wanna do it. And then he said, well, why don’t you become an agent?
And I said, okay, well, the one thing I’m not that good at is direction. So do you have to be really good at directions to be a real estate agent? And he said, well, that’s what maps are for.
So this is back in the day when I bought, I went to the local convenience store and I bought like 10 maps. And I just said, okay, how do I start? And he said, okay, call everybody in this retail quarter and ask them if they wanna list their property.
And that’s how I started. I mean, that is literally how I started. I called and I called and I called and I got a listing.
And then I called a very specific, and I was so new to the business that I didn’t know that if people didn’t need you, they don’t call you back. I didn’t know that. I thought everybody had to call you back because Kate Jocelyn at that time left them a voicemail that they would have to call me back.
And so there was a one specific retailer that I called three or four times. And I said, I’m really offended that you have not called me back. And he actually called me back and he said, I would have called you back, but we are next door, but they were just a different brand.
I didn’t know that was the same company that I was calling. And then I said, oh, okay. And so I just, this is a big thing with me.
I asked for something. And this is what I tell every real estate agent starting in this, if you don’t ask, if you don’t ask a question, if you don’t ask for what you want, you will never get anywhere. So I, to him, he was located in Philadelphia.
I said, oh, well, do you have any other locations that you’re looking for? He said, yes, actually. We’re expanding throughout the Northeast.
I just said, well, I’m gonna be in Philadelphia next week for business, which was not the case, but I said, I’m gonna be in Philadelphia next week for business. And would you like to meet for lunch? He said, sure.
So then I had to go buy another map. And I drove down to Philadelphia and I secured an account and I was their account rep for New England. So I had to buy a lot more maps and that’s how it started.
[Mattias]
That’s awesome.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
That’s how it started. And so then that just opened so many doors. I met so many people, so many experts.
I met lawyers and engineers and I met retailers and developers. And every last one of them, I asked them a million questions, a million questions. I learned so much about zoning and development and wetlands and buildings.
And all of that information was transformational for me as a 20 something year old entering into my life, owning, developing buildings and properties. And then it also is so important to my buyers today that I have that knowledge. I mean, for example, I’ll give you an example of what my commercial real estate knowledge brings to residential, specifically in my area of West Hartford.
I pay attention still to this day to all new developments coming and going. Office parks, apartments, residential corridors, because cities, towns are transforming yearly. They’re creating new markets all the time.
So I’m able to pay attention to that. And I know who the big developers are, look at their webs. And my husband happens to be in development.
I hear what’s coming, what’s going. I mean, I actually look at zoning notes and all this stuff, zoning agendas. So I can see what’s coming.
I can advise my clients, listen, this is a buy and a hold in this area. Soon to be a walkable retail corridor that every young person coming into the market will wanna walk to get a coffee or walk to buy a book or whatever they wanna walk. So I think that’s a lot of value to what I do.
It just is, I’m lucky. I’m so lucky. I’m just very lucky.
I had that experience at a young age. I’m very, because it definitely informed the rest of my life.
[Mattias]
So how long were you doing the commercial sales and then you took a step back to raise kids? How long were you away?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
So I was doing it for about 10 or 12 years. I did it for about 10 or 12 years. And then I took a step back and I was very lucky and I had two beautiful children.
And while I was at home with the kids, I was also keeping myself busy as well, buying, renovating, selling properties that I really just love for myself. And we utilized those properties for the time that we needed them for our family.
[Mattias]
So I mean, at the age of 27- So you moved in, you did like a live-in flip kind of thing?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Yes, but I also own rental properties and I rental properties as well. But at the age of 27, I bought a house in Glastonbury, Connecticut. It was a 1908, 10,000 square foot Greek revival.
That was like basically the movie, The Money Pit. And I didn’t know that much when I was 27. I thought it needed paint.
We were the third family to own it since 1908. And we did a four-year renovation on it. It was very, that was very informative.
I learned a lot on that project. So I had eight acres of gardens. Wow.
Crazy.
[Mattias]
It was crazy. Could be an amazing place.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
It was, it was fun. And then I sold it to a guy who always admired it as a little kid and said, someday I’m gonna buy that place. And I sold it to him and he still has it to this day.
So maybe the whole experience made me very happy.
[Mattias]
Yeah, that’s really cool. I think, yeah, like you’re talking about all these different aspects of real estate. I think it’s, you know, I mean, like if you were to have a buyer’s agent for like a used car salesman, you know what I mean?
Like if you had a buyer’s agent, like if there was that kind of equivalent instead of just going to a lot or whatever, you know, it would be like that person being like a mechanic or, and also being able to, I don’t know, advise you more on like kind of the business of selling, buying and selling cars. And it’s just kind of understanding things a little more deeply. I’ve also found, you know, my interest in, I haven’t been a full-time commercials agent.
I’ve done some commercial deals, some commercial leases, that kind of stuff. But, you know, my interest in renovating houses and flipping rentals, that kind of stuff definitely helps me with my clients a lot as well. And I think it is just kind of an understanding of the business and of what a house is and how it’s built and what expenses are and the ROI, all that kind of stuff.
You know, like I know that you can use kits for X amount of dollars if you, you know, did it on a budget or whatever, and that would increase the value of your house by X. So it’s- Do you know what the ROI is on paint? That one’s one of the best ones.
I don’t know the stat off the top of my head though.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
It’s over a thousand percent. It’s over a thousand percent return on investment on paint. I tell that to my clients.
Every real estate agent should tell this to their clients. Paint, paints. Because most of my buyers today, I don’t know if you find this with your buyers, most of my buyers are so busy that they are overwhelmed by the thought of painting.
[Mattias]
Well, that and people just don’t have the vision. Like if you’ve gone through, if you’ve done a renovation, if you’ve done a flip, and it’s hardwood floors and paint, like once you get past that stage, it starts becoming exciting. You start feeling excited about the project.
Before then, it also often feels like, oh my gosh, what is this mess? Like, what am I doing? I know it’s gonna be good, but like even if you’re not actually like anxiously calming yourself down with that, that’s just kind of in the background.
And then you may not even think about it. It’s like subconscious. But then you walk into the house after the floors are done and the walls are painted and you’re like, oh my gosh.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
It’s transformational. Honestly, it’s transformational. And I always advise my clients, my seller clients, light colors.
And if you are an expert interior designer and you know how to really nail a dark room, light, bright colors. It makes everything open, every shade, turn on every light. It makes the place feel just so much more pleasant, bigger space, you know, just 100%, 100%.
You know, I mean, I’m all for like a beautiful dark bar or something like that or a gorgeous library, but you have to really nail it in order for it to not feel just too dark. And you have to go for the middle. When you’re selling a house, you have to go for the middle.
You can’t go for like the exotic buyer or like the buyer that is looking for, you know, all wood. You have to go for the middle. What is the middle looking for?
And the middle shifts constantly. Have you noticed that? The middle shifts constantly what they’re looking for.
You know, it used to be the four bedroom colonial on the cul-de-sac was like the hottest girl at the dance, but that’s not the case anymore. You know, it shifts constantly with all the design trends, all the furniture, all the color, you know, floral is back. You know, it shifts.
It really does.
[Mattias]
What do you tell a seller that doesn’t want to paint and says, they’re just gonna paint themselves anyway. What’s the point? They’re just gonna paint over what I did.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
I will say that all of the information that I have says that the buyers will skip over your house and not look if it doesn’t hit them when they’re looking on the internet. That buyers make their decision based on what is presented to them on the internet about when they decided whether or not they want to buy your house before you even stepped in. You know, they have a pretty strong feeling either way and that you want to present your house in a way that attracts the most buyer.
So you get the most offers. So you get the most money. And anything to the contrary just costs you money.
So, I mean, you have sellers there that don’t want to paint. And I say, okay, then we need to manage your expectations with regard to what you’re going to get for the house.
[Mattias]
Yeah.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
You know, so, I mean, and by the way, I’m not always right. I’ve been surprised either way. I’m not always right, but I just give them my best advice based on my experience.
It also depends on, and I tell this to my buyer, my sellers and my buyers, the market, whatever market happens to be when you are looking at that moment. If we put a house on the market and there are no other houses on the market, you’re going to get buyers because of scarcity and they have to buy your house. But we could put the house on the market next week and there could be 30 houses that pop up that compete with yours.
And then you’re shut out. That’s just, the market is whatever the market is when you put it on. And the same thing with buyers.
You know, we’re going to look at what’s on the market and you’re going to base your decisions on what we can get, like what’s out there and what we can get and what your timing is. I mean, I have buyers call me all the time now, we’re in May and they’ll say, we need to close by the end of June. That is not a lot of time in a competitive market to buy and close on a house.
Right. So we have to look at all sorts of things and we have to see what’s out there. So, you know, it just depends.
But if someone has a big job and they’re starting, they got to do it. They have to pull the trigger. So it just really depends.
But I just try to give them all of the information that I have historically so that they make their, an informed decision. And even with all that information and my expertise, I still say to them every single time, this is one of the most stressful processes you’re going to go through in your entire life. But in the end, when we’re done, you’ll be glad you went through it, but it is going to be hard, right?
It is hard. It’s so hard.
[Mattias]
Yeah, and I think my broker often says that it would be a good idea for every agent to move themselves every like seven years or so just to kind of remind themselves of what it is they’re going through.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Yeah, I tell new agents all the time, if you have bought and sold a house, you have a very hard time empathizing with what your clients are going through. But it is hard to buy a house these days. So it’s not an easy task.
But if you’ve been in a house for 30 years and you are cleaning it out and someone’s telling you to paint all the walls and let’s get rid of all this furniture, and it’s so hard, it’s so stressful. And then you feel like it’s an invasion of your privacy when people come through and they look at the house and then they leave a comment. It’s so hard, it’s really hard.
[Mattias]
Yeah, but then we have probably the opposite problem too often in our market where people are too sweet. They’re like, they’re not giving you the real feedback that is kind of needed. Like if a house isn’t selling and it could be really helpful to have agents or buyers give feedback, direct feedback about things that they didn’t like about the house so that we can maybe try to make adjustments.
And it’s nice to have that at times coming from other voices not just the listing agent, right? Like you don’t always want to be the bad guy or just- No, I never want to be the bad guy.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
I want to be the layer of bad information but I never want to be the bad guy. You know what I mean? But I will say this.
When I get feedback on a house that doesn’t directly tell me I am old fashioned, I call that agent. I call them and I say, okay, tell me what didn’t work for your client just so I know, I just need to be informed. And I do this all the time.
I mean, I reverse search call for my houses and I say, what did your clients think? Why aren’t they, you know, I see you sent it to 1300 people but you didn’t book an appointment, why not? I mean, I’m in the business of selling and I do sell that to agents as well.
You are a sales agent, not a show agent. You have to sell. No one’s going to like you if you don’t sell.
[Mattias]
Well, speaking of being proactive, you mentioned this in the real estate or the commercial side but you talked about the importance of asking for what you want in your business. What does that actually look like in practice on the residential side? And what is the moment you realized most agents were leaving money and opportunities on the table by not asking?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
I think that the hardest thing for an agent to ask for is their fee. And it’s, you know, it’s a very difficult thing to ask for their fee. And, you know, whether it be from a buyer or a seller.
And the other thing that’s hard for an agent is that a lot of your customers are your friends, families, they’re in your sphere, right? So it’s hard to ask a client or a seller or a buyer for your fee. And a way you have to think about it is, is anyone that you’re talking to in that room working for nothing?
Or are they giving up half their paycheck to work to have that discussion with you? Is there anyone there that isn’t getting a paycheck every two weeks, every month or every week? You would be the only person standing in the room that if you ask for a fee and cut your fee, you’d be the only person standing in the room that just took half a paycheck off just because you had a conversation.
So it’s really like know your worth and ask. So what I do is I put it out there. I don’t wait until the end.
I put it, I’m very upfront about my fee. I say, this is what I charge. And this is why I charge this.
And in the end, I’ve never had someone say, I wish I paid you less. I’ve never, I’ve never. In fact, many clients have said, I can’t believe you do all this for this fee.
We’re so grateful. I think that’s the number one hardest thing for agents to do. And also the other hard thing is to tell sellers what their home is actually worth versus what they think it’s worth.
That’s a really hard one too. But you have to have all the questions. You have to have information backup and show them on paper.
That’s a, you know, you really need to do that to show them on paper why their property is worth X, what you hope to achieve. If you do this, this and this, we think we can leverage this at a higher price. But those are tough discussions to have, but that’s your job.
That’s your job. And I always say to an agent as well, this is my number one thing. And I think this in my head too.
If you can’t negotiate for yourself, who can you negotiate for? I have that in my head all the time.
[Mattias]
It’s a good perspective to, I don’t know if you point that out to a seller client or whoever. No, I do.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
No, I don’t say that to myself. Well, I have said that, you know, when I have sellers say to me, well, you know, so-and-so will do it for X. And I’m like, well, I’m not sure why they so easily discounted themselves.
Are you going to expect that in their negotiation process?
[Mattias]
Right. I don’t know. For that too?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Yeah, no. I think it’s very important to know your worth and you better work hard for your fee and you better earn it. But you have to stand up and say, this is what I charge.
That’s all.
[Mattias]
And on the listing side, you know, I think another thing that can be, well, I recently worked with some people that were very upset about real estate commissions and all this kind of stuff. And they kind of bought a house that was, you know, bidding war, ended up, you know, doing cash on inspections, two-week close. Then they saw the amount that buyer agent got paid, wasn’t me.
And they were kind of like, that was so easy. There’s nothing. The agents get paid too much.
And wanted me to list their house, you know, at a discount for that same logic. But, you know, in my head, I’m like, you know, if we’re getting your house ready, if we’re doing everything that we need to, if we’re preparing, if we’re taking all my years of knowledge and research of the market and apply that so that you have a quick painless sale, isn’t that me doing my job really well? Like, don’t you want it to go fast and smooth as opposed to being a long laborious process where you’re frustrated and it’s costing you a lot of money?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Right, right. No, you paid me for that perfectly smooth transaction. And that perfectly smooth transaction only came about by my years of experience and able to orchestrate that for you.
Yeah, that’s what you paid for. So you got the VIP treatment and that’s what you paid me for.
[Mattias]
Yeah, you want it to feel as painless as possible. You don’t want it to feel like it’s a lot of hard work.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Listen, there’s a lot of them that are a slog to get through. I mean, I’ve never not told anything I’ve ever listed, honestly. But some of them are harder than others.
And I’m sure the sellers, it’s usually a seller, but well, sometimes it’s a buyer because if a buyer is in a very competitive market and they can’t waive a mortgage contingency and they won’t waive inspection, they end up looking for a very long time. And sometimes they can’t get a deal. I mean, it just depends on the market if they’re not willing to concede in some way, shape or form.
But I’m sure all of the sellers that have gone through that arduous process of adjusting their house, adjusting their price or whatever, would gladly pay more of a fee not to have gone through that. But they’re all happy when it’s over. Because it is, it’s so stressful.
And you take it as a personal affront when somebody doesn’t want to buy your house. It’s a very personal stab. Even though it’s not personal, it’s really not personal.
It’s just what is the market for? What attributes does your property have? And does it fit into their criteria?
There’s really almost nothing that personal about it. Because I mean, every property that I sell is staged, laid out as best as you can. So it’s not personal, but it feels very personal.
[Mattias]
Yeah, totally.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
I know it’s hard. It’s not an easy job.
[Mattias]
You have spent over 20 years in the same market, which is rare. How has staying rooted in Connecticut and Rhode Island shaped your business? And what advantages does deep local expertise give you over agents who try to cover every market?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Well, I think that deep local expertise is probably number one in what you need in a real estate agent. I really think it’s probably number one. I mean, you do need a real estate agent that can negotiate on your behalf, but deep local expertise is critical to figuring out where you want to be and why you want to be there.
You know what I mean? Like, I mean, your agents need to know what’s coming and going in a town. Like I said, where are the developments?
How is that going to impact the roadway? Where are the new, what’s happening in the town? What is the tax situation like in the town?
Are the taxes slated to double in the next three years? You need to know that. Because if you’re looking at your monthly payment and all of a sudden your tax is double, that’s not going to compute for you.
You’re not going to be very happy. Are they running gas down the street? Do they have plans to run gas down the street in two years?
So the fact that you don’t want to buy with oil, you can convert gas. All of this, you know, are their schools closing? Are their shopping centers closing?
Are you moving closer to an area because they have a massive mall, but you know that two of the anchors in that are pulling out in six months? Or is there a major employer leaving the area, slated to leave the area? Not going to leave a huge, you know, is the housing going to open up and therefore, you know, you’re competitive on your house today, but you not be competitive on your house in six months.
Whatever it is, like, do you want to be able to walk to the local park? Do you want to, whatever it is, what’s happening at that local park? How many, you know, are you looking for a community that has a lot of events?
What is that you’re looking for in a town or a community? Do, does your agent know about it? And then can they inform you?
Can they, you know what I mean? Like, are you looking like, for example, in Rhode Island, are you looking for something waterfront? Are they having huge erosion problems where the water is?
Can people not get insurance in that area anymore? That’s something that’s pretty impactful. Does that area flood when they get a big rainstorm?
That happens in a lot of areas where they are coastal. Does, and the same thing with the Connecticut shoreline. You know, does the street flood when there’s a full moon and nobody can go out and get their groceries?
Well, you probably should know that before you buy the house. All sorts of things. Are they requiring, especially in the coastal market, are they requiring that all septic systems be upgraded in that market?
You should know that too, because the septic system is about $30,000. All of these things are very, very important to buyers. Very important to buyers, you know, and specifically buyers, because buyers are usually coming in from out of the area.
Like, for example, in West Hartford, West Hartford’s one of the hottest, I think it’s the number one hottest market. The Hartford County market’s the hottest market in the whole country for real estate according to every metric. And, you know, people are coming in from all over and they don’t know the area.
Someone to tell them about the area. But you should have, you know, that’s very impactful. Very impactful.
I would think that, you know, community, taxes, you know, happening, employment, all that is very important. I have a little fly here.
[Mattias]
Absolutely. No worries. I couldn’t agree more.
I mean, I think that’s really something that is, you know, intangible for an agent to provide to their buyers and to their sellers. And I mean, even if they do live in the area, I mean, there’s definitely things that people, the normies don’t pay attention to that an agent can really help them with. Kate, I wanna transition into the golden nuggets portion.
What golden nuggets do you have for us today?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
So I would say that my golden nugget is, well, I thought I had three, but I’m gonna say four. Number one is ask for what you want. Ask for your fee.
Say you want, I want this listing. I’d like to sign this today. A lot of times people will leave buyers and sellers with paperwork and, you know, almost like get to it when you feel like it.
Like I’m busy. I have a lot of clients. I only work exclusively for my clients that I have under exclusive contracts.
If you want someone to sign a listing agreement or a buyer representation agreement, ask them to sign it. Say, are you signed? Here you go.
Let’s, do you have any objections? Is there anything we need to talk about? Let’s get this signed so we can start the process because we can’t start the process without signing it.
And then when selling a house, I think the most important thing is pricing. You can’t overprice a house. It is critical to selling a house for actually even more money than what you listed for.
Pricing is so critical. So don’t mess up the pricing on a house. I mean, we’ve all done it, but try not to mess.
I think that’s critical to being successful. And then presentation. I, especially since I love to renovate and I love design, I think presentation is absolutely everything.
Presentation, visual presentation, how a house presents to a buyer makes all the difference between yes and no. Presentation is absolutely everything. You know, don’t leave a sponge in the sink.
That’s a big thing for my sellers. Do not leave your sponge in the sink. Put it away.
And they all laugh at me, but think about it. You walk by a sink in a house that’s a million dollar house or a million and a half dollar house, and you walk by and you see some terrible sponge in this. What do you think?
It’s not good. It’s not a good look. And then the other one is be the expert.
You are the expert. They are hiring you as their expert in real estate. You need to understand the contracts.
You need to understand the paperwork, the law, the real estate, everything about the house, the house, the roof, the mechanicals, the market, the street, the area. Be the expert because they are hiring you and paying you to be the expert. You have to be the expert in the process.
You have to shepherd them from day one to closing day. And even after closing day, you have to because they’re going to have a ton of questions. That’s why my website says I’ve got a guy.
They’re going to have a ton of questions. They’re going to need people. And I, by the way, give expert advice to anybody that asks me if they want.
I don’t just say you have to hire me for me to give you an answer. If somebody calls me and they say, hey, Katie, you know, I’m looking for XYZ guy to do this. Do you have somebody?
I said, yep, here you go. Here you go. And I think everybody should do that.
I share information because I just think it gives you more credibility. And honestly, that comes around more than it goes away. I, you know, I’ll say, here’s a great architect.
Here’s a great tile guy. Here’s a great guy that can take out that old oil tank. Here’s a great landscaper.
Here’s a good gutter guy. Whatever it is. I just, I’m like, here you go.
Here are my people. I don’t expect anything in return, but you’re just building your credibility as an expert. Say, you know, because they’ll say to the next person, oh, you need that?
Call Katie Adabo. She knows. She’ll just text it to you in two seconds.
That’s what I do. I just, anybody that I, but I vet them. I don’t just give them anybody’s name.
I vet them. And if they’re good, I say, would you mind? I always ask them, would you mind if I pass your name on?
And they, I mean, I’ve had one or two people say no because they’re so busy. They don’t want any more business. But other than that, pretty much everyone say, sure, pass my name on.
But I was the expert. So pricing, presentation, be the expert and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. But you don’t ask for it.
Nobody else will.
[Mattias]
Yeah. I love it. No, it’s so true.
I think being that, yeah, that go-to person that is for everything housing, like you need something, they’re going to have a good suggestion. It makes a ton of sense that you would want to be that person for people.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
We wear a lot of hats. We wear a lot of hats, right? Always.
[Mattias]
What about a favorite book, a fundamental book you think everybody should read or one that you’ve currently enjoyed?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Well, I mean, to be fair, I don’t really have a favorite book, but I have a book that I’ve always thought of that I would always recommend to someone. If that’s what you would consider a favorite. It was a book that I read a really long time ago.
It just stayed with me. I have a club, so we read a lot of books and they don’t all stay with me. But there was a book called The Red Tent and it’s just about, it’s about the Bible, but it’s really about the shared female experience from the women in the stories.
It’s just about shared female experiences and shared female places. And it just has always stayed with me. Women need that.
Women need spaces and conversations with each other. I mean, they need that to be strong and live a healthy life. I think, I mean, I don’t know why, but I mean, I have a lot of friends.
I have a lot of close friends, a lot of great female relationships. Maybe that’s why it resonated with me that it spoke to me. This is what I’m supposed to be doing.
I am married and I have two children. It’s fantastic. But I really, all my female relationships as well.
And I don’t know, that one sort of stuck with me. But I think, I mean, anybody could read it, but I just think it was certainly an excellent read. But it was, that’s really what I thought about it.
[Mattias]
Yeah. And then Kate, if people want to follow you for more, what social medias are you active on?
[Kate D’Addabbo]
They can follow me on KJ Real Estate on Instagram. And I’m on, my website is katedaddabborealestate.com. They can follow me there.
And I’m under Kate Jocelyn D’Addabbo on Facebook as well. But I’m not on TikTok. I should be on TikTok.
[Mattias]
Not yet. Well, Kate, thank you so much for being on the show. It’s been a lot of fun talking to you.
[Kate D’Addabbo]
Thank you. So, so great talking to you. Talk to you later.
[Erica]
Thanks for listening to the REI Agent.
[Mattias]
If you enjoyed this episode, hit subscribe to catch new shows every week.
[Erica]
Visit REIAgent.com for more content.
[Mattias]
Until next time, keep building the life you want.
[Erica]
All content in this show is not investment advice or mental health therapy. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.












